ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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