You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
