Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
