Apparently you make a good broom.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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