lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
