I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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