roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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