I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We're too hungover to prance.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
