i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
