speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
