the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
