After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
