ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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