would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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