My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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