so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
