No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
