because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
