we're blogging at a bar
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
