Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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