she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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