There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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