He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
