yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
