This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize