Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Shame - the story of my life.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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