I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
