cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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