Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize