i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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