Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
