as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
