hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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