i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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