i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
