is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
