i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
