my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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