you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
