I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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