I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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