the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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