I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
