Kiss
Puke
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
