I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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