i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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