Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
