when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
