Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So apparently I’m into choking now
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