i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
