Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
