Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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