Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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