So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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