Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
