There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
