i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
