don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
