the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
